November 18, 2002
I have begun to notice some extraordinarily interesting things within myself these last few days. In the process of being more social, I have completely withdrawn myself from everyone. It seems like a great contradiction in words however, it is all quite real and yet surreal at the same time. I am charting the patterns which I have seen emerge over the last few years when I begin going through this process. It is almost like a ritualistic defense mechanism of some sort. The curious aspect is why it occurs in patterns and not at random or by a trigger of some sort. I will have to delve into more study of this.
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