May 28, 2004
I took my grandmother to the dentist again today for yet another teeth-whitening excursion. Her vanity overwhelms me. Nonetheless, I also had to clean out her dressers and closet. That was fun. I am scarred for life now. I found several thongs, revealing nightgowns, a belly shirt, and a completely see-thru lace shirt. I will not mention the other items that I found mostly because I cannot bring myself to say them and I am in denial. This only frightens me more after I found that love leash and handcuffs several years ago… Apparently, the words “granny panties” mean nothing to her. In addition, I met her new “gentleman friend” that lives next door. He has a car so this is a big selling point to her. I did jokingly ask her if I should start calling him grandpa and she said no because they were just friends. I do not ever want to know if they are “special friends”… I believe they attended “Poker Night” this evening at the retirement home. She gave up “Knitting Hour” to go with him to an alcohol and gambling centered event. Cleaning up the clutter in her apartment took me many hours and it was all very boring and tedious work that I do not care to engage in for a very long time.
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May 25, 2004
Doughnut business hurt by low-carb craze…-It would seem that the low carb fad diets are causing problems in the doughnut world. I wonder why the doughnut shops do not cater to the low carb dieters by offering a sausage, cheese, egg, Canadian bacon, and chicken doughnut. Alternatively, they could create a doughnut that is filled with a large amount of saturated fat rather than jelly or whatever it is that they squeeze into the doughnuts. I still do not understand how food that is high in saturated fat, full of calories, and provides no fiber or nutritional value whatsoever is now called health food. I wonder when the low-carb happy meal will make its debut…
More news from Georgia…-A huge fire started at 4 AM this morning and they still do not know why this chemical factory caught on fire. Of course, it does not help things that it happened in an area where people are notoriously stupid. It would seem that all the interesting things in Georgia happen in the most undesirable areas and thus those areas are seen on the news so that all may laugh at the South.
Catholic Churches are Closing…It would seem that many Catholic churches are closing in Boston… I cannot imagine why…
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May 19, 2004
The Cicadas are coming! Click here to read about it.
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May 18, 2004
According to Dr. James Dobson, homosexual unions will cause a rise in the number of children born out of wedlock. Can anyone explain this?
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May 14, 2004
The stone for the retaining wall in the backyard has been delivered! I purchased my pond and waterfall materials and I am very excited to start this new project. Of course, this requires that the rain ceases. In addition, it would be helpful if I actually had free time that I could spend doing something for myself. Nonetheless, it will all be done. If I start arising at 4AM, I may be able to work until 6AM or so. It is quite fortunate that I do not work otherwise I would not be able to sleep everyday. That scenario sounds all too familiar and all too horrifying now. Yay for sleep! Yay for not having to work! So long as I live at least another ninety years I should be able to do most of the things I desire to do… I do not think I shall ever have enough time to think about the myriad of things I desire to ponder.
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I find it highly annoying that Atlanta Botanical Garden has hiked up the price of membership. I would understand if they needed money but they are extremely cheap and rely on volunteers and garden clubs to take care of most of the plants. They also bank off all the local flower societies, various educational classes they host, parties they throw, multi-million dollar flower shows, and various functions that take place on the property. They have many millions of dollars in the bank and yet they still feel the need to beg for money. I suppose it is not entirely without merit though. I do get free concert tickets and they even give me a chair for giving them money. Yes, a whole chair all for me! This is what separates the Arbor Circle members from the *regular* members. I feel so special. 
The only organization that is far more annoying is the Atlanta Opera. They have called my house more than twice in one day for a grand total of sixty three times. They seek to harass me even after I tell them to stop calling. I do not desire to attend the opera with anyone but I am also not going to go downtown by myself at night, as I do not desire to make myself a target for rape and other bodily crimes. I just want to be left alone!
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May 6, 2004
I was just out in the yard surveying the top of the backyard. I decided to carry down a large rock that probably weighed sixty pounds. My neighbor next door comes running out of her house and proceeds to inform me that I should discontinue carrying heavy objects because I will get a prolapsed uterus. I had no idea what to say because I was in complete shock that someone who does not know me very well at all would have any concern for my uterus. In addition, I had no desire to discuss my uterus with her. Nonetheless, I said, “I was not lifting with my uterus; I was lifting with my legs.” She then proceeds to tell me all about how she had to get her uterus “tacked up” and how I will have to have that done as well when I get older if I continue to pick up heavy objects. First, one does not get a prolapsed uterus simply because they pick up heavy objects every so often! One gets a prolapsed uterus because they have been pregnant, are fat, have fibroid tumors, have gone through menopause, or because they were born with some type of collagen disorder. I never intend to be pregnant, fat, have tumors, nor I was I born with a collagen disorder! Then she proceeded to inform me that men do not have this problem because they do not have a uterus. REALLY!? It appears that I was just schooled in anatomy!
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May 2, 2004
My grandmother had a stroke on Saturday and we spent all day at the hospital. She is home now and doing quite well. I am rather surprised that they allowed her to come home so quickly but I suppose that they could not really do much for her. This week should be extra fun with finals and other thrilling responsibilities…
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