Reflecting on Marriage
September 21, 2007
Since Brian and I have both joined mySpace, Facebook, et al in order to promote our blogs, I have found an increasingly disturbing trend among young women.
The trends I have come across seem to involve young women who glorify getting married as their greatest accomplishment in life. This is not only sad but also extremely degrading. Is this some kind of resurgence of 1950s behavior where the only goal in life for women is to get married and make babies? I also do not understand women who think it is an accomplishment to flaunt the fact that they have taken heir husband’s last name. So what? I could walk into a courthouse and change my name to Wonder Woman tomorrow, if that is what I wanted. I get that they wish to be identified as their husband’s property, but why is that an accomplishment? I doubt many, if any, husbands walk around saying they are Mr. *insert wife’s last name*’s property. Are these women so lacking in their own personality and self-confidence that they have to assume the persona of their husband so they can live through them? I know I get SO sick of hearing friends and family call me by Brian’s last name when I have made it more than clear that I am not his property and we do not have the same last name. It is insulting and rude to call someone by a name other than his or her own name. If your name is Sally Richards and I continually call you Sally Sims then you would probably be offended if you knew that I knew your name was Sally Richards. No? It belays a complete lack of respect for the individual.
In addition, what is all the importance placed on having an engagement ring? Nothing says love like starting your lives together with $30K in engagement ring debt. That is real love. Right. Moreover, why don’t men get engagement rings? They should get them if women are going to get them and women should go into $30K in debt to pay for it. It is absurd to expect a man to shell out thousands of dollars on some pointless piece of jewelry that is supposed to represent your love. Get a grip on reality.
Interestingly enough, by posting this, which is no doubt controversial to many, I am opening myself up to being called horrible things like a feminist. Gasp, the horror, the horror…
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I don’t know the answers to your questions, but perhaps if you conducted a scientific survey, you could start to find the answers. Because value systems are quite dynamic across time and culture, you may find that the people you refer to are not so irrational after all; at least, not by their own standards of judgment…
comment by Brian — September 21, 2007 @ 10:24 pm
I never said they were irrational. I do think they are behaving in a manner that is consistent with their belief system, no matter how absurd it may seem to me. Most current bodies of research would suggest that it is because of the way that they were socialized as children. I also think that this sort of behavior is consistent with societal norms. For example, according to the Renfrew Center, 90% of toys marketed at girls are for beauty, shopping, dating, and housework. Furthermore, this trend has not changed in the last eight years. Toys for boys are geared towards war, weaponry, and education. NO toys geared towards girls were for education.
Not really on-topic, but where does this leave NT (female) children? These sorts of gender based value systems are completely lost on me.
comment by Katy — September 22, 2007 @ 11:14 am