How sad is this… We have a smoker above our new bedroom in our new apartment. Brian is now over at the new apartment moving all of our clothes, bed, and other stuff out of the bedroom and into another part of the apartment. Geez. These Ohioans are absolutely disgusting. They are walking smokestacks!

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We are nearly finished packing up our stuff in our old apartment. It is bare looking and the only things in the room are essentially the bottom part of our desk which is going to be disassembled tomorrow and some random furniture that we are waiting for charity or buyers to pick-up. We are SO glad that we moved. The smell has only gotten worse and it keeps going higher and higher up in the building.

In other news, we are trying to find a car online. So far, we have had some success so that is good…

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Oh yes, I forgot to post about this several days ago. I was going through the apartment and throwing things away and getting them ready to pack up. I moved our 15 lb. medicine ball that was sitting on this big blue wizard popcorn can. I decided that I would put Brian’s old wizard popcorn tin in the trashpile. He has always said not to throw it away even though he said it was old and dented and we were not taking it to Hawaii. I figured that I could ask him about throwing it away when he got home. But then I noticed that the popcorn tin was a bit heavy. I knew it did not have popcorn in it because Brian would never leave food untouched. I opened it. This was mistake number one. Inside the popcorn tin, I discovered that my husband had been using it as a filing cabinet for over 6 years! In this popcorn tin, I found IRS documents, his acceptance letter to graduate school along with his congratulatory letter on his fellowship, several official transcripts, and a myriad of other very important documents. I had to laugh. When he came home I asked him if they really give PhDs to people who keep filing systems in a popcorn tin. He laughed at me and told me that graduate schools are always looking for creative people! I had to continue laughing at him… But I also had to take a picture for the sake of posterity.

In addition, he is demanding that everyone call him Dr. Brian except he insists that I begin calling him Dr. Love. lol

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We have a shower drain clog. Usually, that means that a bunch of my hair and Brian’s razor covers are caught in the shower. Not this time. This time, by the end of the shower we are ankle deep in grey water (or more) and the shower drains very slowly. Brian said we should just ignore it because it is our grey water but I think it is less than savory to stand in my own grey water whilst I am attempting to get clean. So, we decided to work on the drain. We tried a plunger, coat hanger, and a snake - but they did not work. Then we remembered that we had a half bottle of Draino under the kitchen sink. I hate using Draino because those nasty chemicals are just going to end up back in the river around here. Hopefully, as nasty as that stuff is, it will actually work… We shall see.

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Frump McGrump has stooped to all new humorous yet pathetic levels of stupidity. This time, in order to really “get us” she has thrown leaves all around the entryway to make it seem as though the wind blew in a ton of leaves. She’s so stupid and lazy she threw them all into big piles and essentially proved it was a stunt because she did not put any where she was standing when she threw them. In addition, we don’t even have any leaves on the ground on this entire side of the building and all of the leaves on the other side of the building blew in the opposite direction. She’s such a phony and a fraud. If it was not so silly and funny it would really be sad. Actually, it is sad because she is just that pathetic… We feel rather sorry for her given that she is such an angry, bitter, pathetic individual.

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Gross. The apartment currently smells like cigarette smoke. We had to close all of the windows because of the single man’s wafting cigarette smoke apartment smells. Brian just went out to check on our cinderblock and found that someone kicked or threw it onto the sidewalk and shattered it. Then, the person put the biggest chunk back in the door leaving sharp pieces of concrete colored shards lying on the sidewalk. I would like to present the single man with the pieces and tell him to dispose of them but Brian says that would be bad since they are all drunk. They come in and out of the apartment and they are always drunk. If it was the Old West, I would think the guy was running a saloon. Poo on the neighbor guy. Poo on his friends. With any luck, his friend who kicked the cinderblock has hurt his foot.

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We had our meeting with the apartment complex management yesterday. They basically said we could keep opening the door with the cinderblock. I compromised saying that we would partially open the door so no weird animals (rats, stray cats, raccoons, etc.) would get in. They said that sounded great and did not care about the few ladybugs coming inside. They said they would talk to Fatty McUgly and make sure that she would stop harassing us. All was well until she started stealing cinderblocks again and someone left a note on the main door to outside saying, “Please don’t let the bugs in.” We certainly did not post a note saying, “Please don’t let the stink out.” on the single man’s door, although, we would have liked to do that… In addition, the person we suspect that left the latest note lives on the fourth floor and we live on the first floor. They don’t even use this door to do anything except get mail. These people are passive-aggressive idiots. In addition, these people don’t even seem to realize that the “bugs” which are actually ladybugs, specifically, Asian Lady Beetles, help to keep the wheat in Ohio from being ruined by Aphids. The ladybugs can only survive by being indoors during the winter and then emerging in the spring. Then, they will be able to prey on aphids and control the aphid population. The ladybugs cannot even breed or reproduce indoors so it is not as though millions of them will be swarming about the building in May. These people are so disconnected from nature that they cannot possibly see that some insects are actually helpful and help to feed them and the 100 lb. Toddler they are raising along with the other 18 kids they have. Again, they are ignorant idiots.

A funny thing happened to Brian this morning… He was going to school early, before 7 AM, and he walked to the bus stop. While walking, he saw Fatty McUgly was going to take the bus as well. He saw her go behind a dumpster and he walked past her waiting for the bus. He looked back and she was hiding out behind a tree watching him. This woman is our parents age and she’s practically stalking Brian… So, he gets on the bus and looks out the window to see her emerge from behind the tree (with her 200 lb. handbag and 400 lb. shopping bag - she looks like a bag lady). Then she walks up to the bus stop to wait for the next bus, which would be there in about 15 minutes. Why on earth would someone wait an extra 15 minutes for a bus in the cold Ohio morning just so they could hide behind a tree and stalk a man? What a nutcase.

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The woman upstairs, Fatty McUgly, has stooped to new low levels. This time, she left a 3″x5″ index card taped to the cinderblock that props the door open saying:

“THANKS FOR THE JAPANESE BEETLE INFESTATION
DON’T BRICK THE DOOR
THANK YOU”

She is an idiot. The building has no Japanese Beetles and to my knowledge Japanese Beetles are not even outside of the Ohio River Valley because it is too cold. I have also never seen a Japanese Beetle around here. The only thing in the building is a handful of ladybugs and it is hardly an “infestation.” In addition, we used a cinderblock to hold open the door not a brick. Idiot.

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I just remembered that it is Halloween. So Happy Halloween… This is the closest thing we have for a carved pumpkin:

                  /                __)_)__             .-’._’-'_.’-.           .’.’ /o’/o ‘.’.          / :/._:  A  :_.:          | :   ’=.:.=’/   : |           :  :’.___.’:  : /           ‘-:__:__:__:__:-’

That being said, if we had a real pumpkin around here the chances are pretty great that we would never find it in the mess that has become our apartment.

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Our air mattress has died. It leaked air rather quickly last night and over the last couple of nights. We repaired the hole but it leaked to the point of being about 1/2 full. Brian is now sucking out all of the air so we can send it to the manufacturer for a refund. We also just went out and bought another air mattress to replace it with. Hopefully, this will at least get us to Hawaii. Then, we can buy an Aero Bed or something like that and a platform that will help keep it from debris and random floor weirdness.

In addition, I hope the single man is awakened by this pleasant noise being made by our air pump…

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Fatty McUgly continues to steal cinderblocks and throw them. On the other hand, the single man, Stinky Drunko, seems to have the nasty odor of microwave buttered popcorn and cigarette smoke coming from his apartment. We will be very happy to move. We will be even happier when we move to a piece of land that has a 3 acre buffer from humanity.

I have been eBaying like crazy. I still continue to get stupid questions from people who don’t know how to read the auction page. Blah.

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Our neighbor upstairs, Fatty McUgly (this is the nice name I have given her, Brian has called her MUCH worse) has just stolen another cinderblock, this makes 2 in less than 8 hours! This woman is a kleptomaniac for cinderblocks. You would think if someone wanted to steal something, they might want to steal something better than that. We have already written a letter to the management about her and the single man. He and his friends have been yelling in the hallway at 2 AM and yelling in his apartment about how they are drunk and it’s a beautiful thing. Why can’t they be quiet drunks? And why can’t he live in a dorm anyway?

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Our hall stinks because of the single man next door. He is a stinky smoker that has smelly friends and they stink up the hall. Fortunately, we have a door right next to our hallway so we can just prop it open to air out the hall. Otherwise, it gets stale, stinky, and smells like smoke. We started propping the door open with a small rock. Someone took the rock. So, we started propping the door open with bricks (about 8 of them) and someone stole all 8 of the bricks. We decided at that point we would start putting out cinder blocks. So, now over 4 cinder blocks have been kicked onto the sidewalk and then were stolen. As I was sitting at the computer today, I heard a scraping noise (like a cinder block hitting the sidewalk) so I told Brian. He ran out into the mailbox area and finally had a confrontation with the culprit. She is this awful Ohioany woman that lives in our building. She is mean and nasty to everyone for no reason. She has always given us dirty looks (and I am sure anyone else) and she stares at people. She is probably in her late fifties (but she looks like she is 400 years old), always wears brown, and is the most drab looking creature we have ever seen. She has that awful Midwestern nasal voice and is just the quintessential post office employee. Brian thinks she works at the BMV (BUCKEYE Motor Vehicles) ;). After weeks of trying to figure out just who has been closing one of the doors to our building we finally know. Brian asked her if she had been the one kicking the cinderblocks onto the sidewalk and she said yes. So he asked why and told her how the hall stinks because of the single man’s cigarette smoke. She turned her back to him and walked up the stairs and said, “Take it up with the management.” while he was still talking. Rude. I will not repeat what colorful names he called her but he was fuming mad. Before she walked away she said that it made the building cold. We live on the first floor where the door is and she lives on the floor above. I highly doubt that the cold air goes up the stairway and then moves all the way over to her apartment. In addition, she was kicking and stealing bricks, rocks, and cinderblocks long before it got colder here. She was doing it when it was 80+ degrees! She is full of poo so Brian is going to report her to the management. Yay. We really feel sorry for her because she is such a mean-spirited, rude, passive-aggressive, thief.

It is ironically convenient that she is stealing our cinder blocks since we needed to toss them out anyway…

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Hooray. Today we drained the waterbed and threw out the water mattress. It was really disgusting. It was really like sludge with weird chunks in it. When we finally got it to the dumpster it busted open and water started gushing out from the foam stabilizer inside. Fortunately, we were able to get it into the dumpster with only our legs and feet getting soaked from it. Joy. Then, we deconstructed the bed frame and headboard and put them in the mouse house aka storage room. Fortunately, we took pictures of the bed and plan to sell it to someone. Anyone want a waterbed minus the water mattress? I will even throw in my autograph for free. That alone is worth the $200 we are asking. Any takers?
We are also getting rid of crap on eBay to make more room and to get rid of clutter. We are also talking about never getting another waterbed or regular mattress ever again. Another waterbed will just leak and explode and a regular mattress will have nasty bed bugs in it and just be like a giant piece of carpet that you sleep on that makes you sneeze. Nasty. We will just sleep on air. It seems safer and cleaner all around. Besides, our bed cannot catch on fire or float away. The worst case scenario is that it pops and we have to buy a new one for $50.

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Woohoo! Our waterbed gushed out 3 inches of water! It is a big geyser now. We just got back from Target where we purchased an air mattress. At least it will be dry…

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